NEW YORK – It isn't among the list of the usual New Year's resolutions, like quitting smoking or losing weight.

But one expert says a goal for 2014 of parenting through discipline instead of punishment can have life-long positive effects.

Ingrid Bauer is a mother of four and an expert on communication within families.

She says there's a big difference between punishment – like spankings or time-outs, that may just teach children not to get caught next time – and discipline, which can teach values and bring parent and child closer.

"Working with a child in partnership, you gain their trust,” she says. “And the motivation for them to behave in ways that you hope, and that will benefit them, comes from inside them, whereas punishment, it's all motivated primarily through fear of something external, rather than being connected to why they're doing something."

Bauer adds better than meting out punishment when a child misbehaves is to talk with the child, try to understand why he or she acted out and then, work together to change the behavior.

Bauer says using a discipline-based approach also works because, at the same time children are given expectations, they also learn that their needs matter as well.

"Having their parents really validate what's important to them and knowing that they're going to be considered, as well as their parents also telling them what's important to them and what they'd like,” she explains. “And my experience is that over time when you build that relationship of trust naturally, if you let that flow of love happen, they want to contribute. It makes them feel good."

Bauer leads workshops around the country on what she calls compassionate parenting, and is certified by the Center for Nonviolent Communication.






get more stories like this via email

October is National Bullying Prevention Month and a recent study showed teens bullied in high school tend to become pessimistic about life prospects.

The study, published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence found students who experienced relational bullying were more likely to develop depressive symptoms and over time became more pessimistic about both academics and career prospects beyond high school. Relational bullying includes things like starting rumors, being deliberately ignored and exclusion from group activities.

Hannah L. Schacter, assistant professor of psychology at Wayne State University in Detroit, said a student's perception of social inadequacy can spread into other parts of life.

"You're receiving a message from your peers that you are someone who doesn't deserve positive treatment, and that may then generalize to these other life domains," Schacter explained. "Now you expect that you're not going to be able to do well academically, or perhaps you won't be able to achieve what you wanted in terms of your work or kind of life plans."

Maryland requires county boards of education to track and report on bullying. This year's report showed there were more than 7,800 incidences of bullying reported during the 2022-23 school year, an increase of 25% over the year prior.

Researchers found students who experienced overt victimization such as direct verbal or physical attacks did not report lower future expectations. Earlier research showed relational victimization had negative effects on elementary students' academic performance and standardized test scores over time. Schacter argued schools need to see the effects of bullying not just as a challenging social issue but also an educational priority.

"As there's been increased recognition of how it can negatively impact teens, more and more schools have, at the very least, adopted anti bullying policies," Schacter acknowledged. "Unfortunately, it's very time intensive, and can be quite costly to implement evidence based large scale school interventions for bullying."

Maryland's State Department of Education adopted a model policy to address bullying, harassment and intimidation in 2009 and has updated it in the years since. Last year the department began offering an online introduction to bullying prevention for educators.


get more stories like this via email

October is National Bullying Prevention Month and a new study showed teens bullied in high school tend to become pessimistic about their future.

Researchers found adolescents who experienced relational bullying were more likely to develop depressive symptoms and over time became more pessimistic about academics and career prospects beyond high school. Relational bullying includes things like starting rumors, being deliberately ignored and exclusion from group activities.

Hannah L. Schacter, assistant professor of psychology at Wayne State University in Detroit, said a student's perception of social inadequacy can spread into other parts of life.

"You're receiving a message from your peers that you are someone who doesn't deserve positive treatment, and that may then generalize to these other life domains," Schacter explained. "Now you expect that you're not going to be able to do well academically, or perhaps you won't be able to achieve what you wanted in terms of your work or kind of life plans."

The study began with more than 300 9th graders at 38 different high schools across Michigan. Students completed online surveys multiple times per year over three years.

Researchers found students who experienced overt victimization such as direct verbal or physical attacks did not report lower future expectations. Prior research established relational victimization affected elementary students' academic performance and standardized test scores over time. Schacter argued schools need to see the effects of bullying not just as a challenging social issue but also as an educational priority.

"As there's been increased recognition of how it can negatively impact teens, more and more schools have, at the very least, adopted anti-bullying policies," Schacter acknowledged. "Unfortunately, it's very time intensive, and can be quite costly to implement evidence-based large-scale school interventions for bullying."

She added it is important to have strong communication between researchers, policymakers and administrators to address bullying so it is not too burdensome for schools and is backed by what researchers have learned.

The biannual Pro-Kid Scorecard from the Children Now Action Fund was released today.

In it, 12 state Assembly members and seven state Senators earned a 100% rating.

Kelly Hardy, senior managing director of health and research at the nonprofit Children Now Action Fund, said the scoring reflects more than how lawmakers vote.

"They voted the right way on health and child welfare, child care, education," Hardy outlined. "They also supported kids in the budget, which is not always an easy thing to do when we've got budget deficits."

The lowest scores hovered around 48%, awarded to lawmakers who voted against certain bills but also voted for proposals like forced outing policies for LGBTQ+ students in schools.

Hardy noted the report is intended to inform voters as they head to the ballot box next month.

"Kids may not vote but we want to elect legislators who do their best to support kids," Hardy explained.

California ranks 35th in the nation for child well-being, according to the latest Annie E. Casey Foundation report and is just above the national average for per-pupil spending on K-12 education.