Nicole Bialko of Columbus is among the one-in-six women who've experienced stalking. And she's sharing her story to encourage other victims to stand up to stalking.
When a relationship that started online turned emotionally toxic, Bialko tried to end it. She said her former boyfriend started harassing and following her, even entering her apartment when she was out of town.
Despite her efforts to ignore him, including blocking hundreds of email addresses and phone numbers, he persisted. So Bialko contacted authorities.
"Trust your instincts, never excuse a red flag," said Bialko. "And if you find yourself making excuses for this individual, feeling unsettled, feeling isolated, maybe what you could do you're not doing anymore, things you enjoyed - there's a problem."
Bialko said she hopes to help other abuse victims free themselves from the fear of stalking. Her advice includes setting firm boundaries, collecting evidence, seeking legal advice about getting a Civil Protective Order, being vigilant about personal safety and maintaining a support system.
Bialko said the police took her seriously, but feels her case was diminished in the courts. In a plea deal, her former partner's charges of felony menacing by stalking; burglary and a protective order violation were reduced to a misdemeanor of criminal mischief.
Bialko said just like physical abuse, emotional and mental abuse is terrifying.
"If you're scared, you're scared out for a reason," said Bialko. "So there's something that individuals doing that's causing you that fear, but there's no tangible evidence. Because I can't show you a picture of a black and blue eye, I don't think it's taken as seriously. "
Caroline Anderson is the communications coordinator with the Ohio Domestic Violence Network. She encouraged friends and family members of survivors to be as supportive as possible and understand that it's difficult for a victim of abuse to simply walk out the door.
"Why didn't you leave sooner? I hate that question," said Anderson. "Why did she stay? I hate that question as advocate. She stayed because she didn't know she was in an abusive relationship. She didn't know how to leave. And leaving is the most dangerous time in a relationship. "
Anderson said most domestic-violence fatalities in Ohio occur when a survivor is in the process of ending the relationship or has already left.
The Ohio Domestic Violence Network can direct stalking survivors to local resources. There also is an easy-to-use chat feature at odvn.org for assistance.
January is National Stalking Awareness Month.
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Domestic-violence prevention organizations in Minnesota continue to express relief over a U.S. Supreme Court ruling dealing with abusers having access to firearms.
In an 8-to-1 decision released Friday, the court upheld a federal law barring people subject to a domestic-violence restraining order from owning guns. Violence Free Minnesota reported from 1989 to 2018, guns were used in nearly half of cases around the state in which adult women were killed by an intimate partner.
Connie Moore is executive director of Alexandra House, a service organization for survivors in the Twin Cities. She noted weapons are also used to intimidate a partner who is planning to escape a dangerous situation.
"Many victim/survivors have reported about a gun being pointed at them and threatening, 'I'll kill you if you leave me,'" Moore observed.
Moore noted there are still challenges in ensuring a gun's removal, even when a restraining order has been issued. Minnesota does have a law covering the removal process but support groups said there is uneven enforcement around the country. This decision comes two years after the Supreme Court greatly expanded gun rights.
Moore pointed out the federal law not only protects survivors and their children, but also first responders in 911 calls stemming from domestic violence.
"We know that domestic calls for law enforcement are one of the most dangerous calls that they go on," Moore emphasized.
She pointed to the three first responders killed earlier this year in a call in the suburb of Burnsville. The tragedy led to a change in state law concerning straw purchases of guns.
Meanwhile, survivor groups also press for reforms when it comes to obtaining a protection order, noting there are a range of barriers just getting that step taken care of.
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Ohio advocates said the Biden administration's new Title IX regulations better protect victims of sexual assault, even as a group of states temporarily blocked the new rules, following controversy over expanded protections for transgender and LGBTQ+ students.
The federal civil rights legislation has continually morphed since it was created in the 1970s to ban discrimination in education programs and student activities receiving federal funding.
Emily Gemar, director of public policy for the Ohio Alliance to End Violence, said Ohioans should feel encouraged the latest batch of rules helps create a safer and more supportive environment for students who've experienced sexual assault.
"One of the changes that the Department of Education has included in its final regulations: They've reinstated that investigations have to be prompt, which was something that the Trump administration had removed," Gemar pointed out.
The final rules clarify the steps a school must take to protect students and employees from discrimination based on pregnancy, sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics. It also protects against retaliation for people who exercise their Title IX rights. The new rules go into effect on August 1.
Gemar added communities can play a role in creating a violence-free environment for young people.
"We should all want at the end of the day is to send not only just our young schoolchildren, but our young adults into environments that have these protective measures in place," Gemar asserted. "To appropriately address sex-based harassment and other forms of sex-based discrimination."
Studies have found approximately 26% of all female undergraduate students and nearly 7% of all male undergraduate students have experienced sexual assault, according to the American Association of University Women.
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Four years after the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, researchers are still studying its effects on society.
A new report focusing on domestic violence during the pandemic revealed social backgrounds and life circumstances played a significant role in how survivors view their abuse.
Paige Sweet, assistant professor of sociology at the University of Michigan and author of the report, conducted interviews with 50 pandemic-era abuse survivors in Michigan, most of whom were struggling financially. Sweet said the small group who experienced it as a novel period of violence were likely to be middle-class.
"These survivors often didn't have to rely on things like domestic violence shelters," Sweet pointed out. "They often had good social networks, so, like, someone could go stay at their parent's house, for example, when the violence increased in the relationship."
At the height of the pandemic, domestic violence care providers reported an increased danger for anyone experiencing abuse, due to more time spent at home with their abusers.
Sweet pointed out survivors who live in marginalized communities experienced abuse during the pandemic as just another social crisis.
"They were sort of used to thinking of their relationship as something that was regularly disrupted by things like arrests, by things like homelessness," Sweet outlined. "Family and friends having to come stay in their house."
Sweet added many middle-class survivors were willing to seek therapy to help stay in their relationships and they were not "deathly afraid" of their abusers. But those living in poverty often were forced back into abusive situations because they depend on their abusers financially.
The research showed domestic abuse is often part of many other social problems knitted into survivors' lives, and Sweet argued there must be resources in place to address the issues.
"To stabilize their families, to stabilize their housing situations, to have access to good jobs, good food," Sweet emphasized. "In order for them to stay away from abusive relationships, they have to have those things secured."
She added policies should focus not just on treating or responding to abuse but on building up families to help prevent it.
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