Nicole Bialko of Columbus is among the one-in-six women who've experienced stalking. And she's sharing her story to encourage other victims to stand up to stalking.
When a relationship that started online turned emotionally toxic, Bialko tried to end it. She said her former boyfriend started harassing and following her, even entering her apartment when she was out of town.
Despite her efforts to ignore him, including blocking hundreds of email addresses and phone numbers, he persisted. So Bialko contacted authorities.
"Trust your instincts, never excuse a red flag," said Bialko. "And if you find yourself making excuses for this individual, feeling unsettled, feeling isolated, maybe what you could do you're not doing anymore, things you enjoyed - there's a problem."
Bialko said she hopes to help other abuse victims free themselves from the fear of stalking. Her advice includes setting firm boundaries, collecting evidence, seeking legal advice about getting a Civil Protective Order, being vigilant about personal safety and maintaining a support system.
Bialko said the police took her seriously, but feels her case was diminished in the courts. In a plea deal, her former partner's charges of felony menacing by stalking; burglary and a protective order violation were reduced to a misdemeanor of criminal mischief.
Bialko said just like physical abuse, emotional and mental abuse is terrifying.
"If you're scared, you're scared out for a reason," said Bialko. "So there's something that individuals doing that's causing you that fear, but there's no tangible evidence. Because I can't show you a picture of a black and blue eye, I don't think it's taken as seriously. "
Caroline Anderson is the communications coordinator with the Ohio Domestic Violence Network. She encouraged friends and family members of survivors to be as supportive as possible and understand that it's difficult for a victim of abuse to simply walk out the door.
"Why didn't you leave sooner? I hate that question," said Anderson. "Why did she stay? I hate that question as advocate. She stayed because she didn't know she was in an abusive relationship. She didn't know how to leave. And leaving is the most dangerous time in a relationship. "
Anderson said most domestic-violence fatalities in Ohio occur when a survivor is in the process of ending the relationship or has already left.
The Ohio Domestic Violence Network can direct stalking survivors to local resources. There also is an easy-to-use chat feature at odvn.org for assistance.
January is National Stalking Awareness Month.
Disclosure: The Ohio Domestic Violence Network contributes to our fund for reporting on Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and Ohio is expanding its qualified rape crisis centers serving rural areas in the central and southeastern regions of the state.
Taylr Ucker-Lauderman, chief engagement officer with the Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence, explained that qualified centers have to meet certain criteria, and typically provide crisis intervention, legal and medical assistance, counseling and referrals to other local resources. She said collaboration among centers to assist sexual abuse survivors and educate the public about violence prevention is critical.
"One really exciting outcome of 2023 is that we did see two additional rape crisis centers identified as qualified rape crisis centers, which means that they are supported by the Alliance," Ucker-Lauderman said.
One in four women and about one in 26 men have experienced completed or attempted rape, according to the CDC. If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline. It's available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at 800-656-4673.
Ucker-Lauderman added survivors of sexual assault often need housing and other basic resources, noting these services are especially needed in geographically isolated areas, and are often unavailable if domestic violence isn't co-occurring. Rape crisis centers may be one of the few options sexual violence survivors have.
"That means increasing the capacity of the service providers across the state, making sure that they have the training that they need, the funding, the staff," she said.
Molly MacMath, executive director of COMPASS Rape Crisis Center in Northeastern Ohio, said while centers, hospitals and police departments play a critical role in preventing sexual violence, communities should be working to come up with creative ways to approach the issue.
"There's so many other entities within our communities that really play a role in the awareness and prevention of violence," MacMath said.
According to Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence's annual report, last year rape crisis centers across the state provided 556 nights of shelter through the Alliance's Meaningful Access Housing Program.
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April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. Advocates for sexual assault survivors in Idaho and across the country are pushing for a more inclusive view of who is impacted by this issue.
Trans, nonbinary and other gender-expansive individuals have largely been left out of data concerning sexual assault.
Amanda Goodson, Ph.D. is an assistant professor in the Department of Criminal Justice and Security Studies at the University of Texas at El Paso.
She said the lack of data has started to change in recent years, but trans and nonbinary people face unique challenges for reporting violence.
"When they go to report experiencing - especially sexual victimization," said Goodson, "they have heightened barriers, or there may not be services that are available to their needs because we didn't have that or we didn't know about that experience."
Goodson said recognizing someone's identity can improve how we respond to their assault. Last week, Idaho Gov. Brad Little signed a bill banning the use of public funds for gender-affirming care.
Black Liberation Collective is a collection of trans youth in Idaho.
Program Director Paradise Newton said the lack of inclusion of gender-expansive people is telling, because data provides a "moral document" showing who we prioritize in our culture.
"Including trans and nonbinary people in our reporting about sexual assault is one of many necessary ways we can ensure that we accurately share information," said Newton. "But it is also one of many necessary ways we can be accountable to the survivors in our communities."
Goodson said it's important to be critical of data and understand who is included and missing. She said this will better serve people impacted by sexual assault.
"Having inclusive practices and having inclusive services and data that is inclusive as a whole," said Goodson, "will give us a better idea of how we can improve our responses."
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More than 100 Ohio advocates gathered this week to speak with lawmakers about policies affecting survivors of intimate-partner violence, including a bill which would make it a crime to place a tracking device on another person's property without their knowledge.
Sen. Nickie Antonio, D-Lakewood, the Senate Democratic leader sponsored the bill and explained the measure would make installing devices such as Apple AirTags for the purpose of stalking or tracking an individual without consent a first-degree misdemeanor.
"There's nothing in the law right now in Ohio, in the stalking part of the code anywhere, that really addresses using these tracking devices, because they're new technology," Antonio explained.
At least 26 states and the District of Columbia have already passed laws protecting privacy concerns raised by tracking technology, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.
Mary O'Doherty, executive director of the Ohio Domestic Violence Network, said it is important legislators hear directly from advocates who work with survivors every day. She pointed to House Bill 111, which recently passed the House and is now being considered by Senate lawmakers. The bill would increase the sentencing range for third-degree felony domestic violence offenses.
"We support that bill because we believe it will increase offender accountability and help victims be more safe," O'Doherty emphasized.
Last year, 112 Ohioans died because of domestic violence, according to the Ohio Domestic Violence Network's fatalities report.
Disclosure: The Ohio Domestic Violence Network contributes to our fund for reporting on Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
click here.
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