Parenting was challenging even before the COVID pandemic, but a unique program in Cambridge teaches new parents the skills they need to nurture their children and themselves.
It's called Baby University and includes 14 once-weekly parent-child playgroups and workshops, that cover everything from a child's brain development to parent relaxation techniques.
Shirley Elliott is a recent graduate. She said she initially joined the program to help build a community for herself and her three-year-old daughter.
"It's about understanding that you're not on this journey alone," said Elliott, "and if you reach out, others can come to you, because we really are going through the same thing."
Baby University is part of the City of Cambridge Department of Human Service Programs. Parents also receive in-home visits by 'Baby U' staff and learn to grow support networks, as well as new friendships.
While priority is given to low-income families, all new parents in Cambridge are welcome to join. More than 460 have graduated, so far.
Baby U was inspired by the successful Harlem Children's Zone, which takes a block-by-block approach to reducing the cycle of poverty through early childhood and family services.
At Baby U, fathers especially are encouraged to take an active role in their child's development. Baby U graduate Tyrone Fells said he appreciated the chance to talk to other Dads, especially about the separation anxiety he experienced with his infant daughter.
"Baby U does teach that and shows us just the importance of establishing your role as a father," said Fells, "and you know, being there and seeing you, and playing and interacting with you."
For other parents, Baby U may help break a cycle of trauma and teach them how to safely discipline their child.
Parents also receive free children's books, and learn the importance of what's called "serve and return" - responsive interactions that can benefit a child's physical and emotional growth.
Still, parents say it's the community-wide connections they appreciate the most, and the realization that in the sometimes stressful journey of parenthood, they are not alone.
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As the opioid crisis continues, more New Hampshire grandparents are seeking financial help to raise their grandchildren.
Already struggling with the emotional loss of their own child to an overdose, grandparents are often taking in multiple grandchildren, who struggle with physical and mental health challenges of their own.
Denyse Richter, founder and executive director of Step Up Parents, a group helping caregivers cover immediate financial needs, said grandparents are helping both their families and their communities.
"If these kids can get a better start and live in a loving home and keep the family connection, it is the next best thing," Richter explained.
Richter pointed out an estimated 12,000 grandparents are raising their grandchildren as New Hampshire continues to experience some of the highest rates of drug overdose deaths in the country.
Step Up Parents was formed in 2018, after Richter saw her own friend struggle with the daily challenges of raising grandkids. Since then, Step Up has helped more than 500 families with more than 800 children cover unexpected medical bills, car payments and more.
Richter called the grandparents "unsung heroes," who never expected to be caring for children in their golden years, especially on fixed incomes.
"I think that just means so much," Richter emphasized. "To let them know that they're not alone, and that we do get that this is really difficult and we want to help."
While New Hampshire has dealt with the full force of the opioid crisis, Richter noted it is also considered a model for other states in helping families experiencing this crisis get the resources they need.
With the holiday season already underway, she added it is important to show these families and caregivers just how much they are appreciated.
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Many parents complete their families through adoption, and November has been the month to encourage awareness, recognize those still waiting to be adopted and celebrate those who have grown through the process.
About 20 families finalized their adoptions at St. Louis County Family Court this year in Missouri, while more than 75,000 in 400 communities did so nationally.
Julia Hampton, a Missouri Walmart employee and adoptive parent, said it is important to look at the benefits offered by businesses when growing your family through adoption.
"Look into the programs available through the company you're employed with, because it may be they have a program set up to reimburse you for legal fees for the adoption," Hampton recommended. "Then you still get a bonding time, to just spend some one-on-one time with them."
Walmart ranks 46th on the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption's annual ranking of the Top 100 Adoption-Friendly Workplaces. It's also in second place for the "Best Impact Breakout," among companies with more than 1,000 employees providing the most financial reimbursement for adoption to the largest number of workers.
Alyssa Harp and husband Jason Harp finalized a rare adoption of older teens at a Michigan Adoption Day ceremony this year. Alyssa said growing her family with the two teen brothers has been rewarding and fulfilling.
"Their hearts are good. They want a family. They bring so much to our lives. They're such good siblings," Alyssa explained. "We're just really excited to be able to help them have a safe place to become amazing adults."
Rebekka Krul, adoption specialist for Legacy Adoption Services, said National Adoption Month is a time for awareness of the many children in foster care waiting for their forever families, which should not end when the month is over.
"You don't have to be rich or married, or you don't even have to have a house," Krul pointed out. "As long as you have a safe space and you have love in your heart for kids, we'll welcome you."
Nationally, more than 113,000 children are waiting to be adopted from foster care. They include more than 12,600 in Missouri.
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CORRECTION: The funding source for this program is federal. An earlier version indicated that Montana state tax dollars were funding it, which is not the case. (9:20 p.m. MST, Oct. 30, 2023)
The state of Montana has allocated nearly $1 million to help settle domestic cases before they ever get to court.
The Montana Family Transition Project is for couples who are separating and have children. The program offers mediation, a formula for calculating child support, and legal advice for parents who need a parenting plan as part of their family law case.
Saumya Thomas, program coordinator for Montana Legal Services, explained that a mediator is a neutral third party trained to help people reach an agreement - and stay out of court.
"We take on a range of cases," she said. "We've worked with high-conflict parties who've been in court for a long period of time, and we've been able to shorten that process by going through mediation. Or we also just take really simple cases that can just take three to four hours of mediation time."
The family mediation program costs the state more than $944,000, but is free to couples who qualify. One or both people in the relationship must have incomes at 200% of the Federal Poverty Line.
The program is being funded with leftover federal COVID relief dollars. Thomas said it will save the state money in reduced court expenses, since it will keep many of the higher-conflict cases from winding up in court. That should drastically reduce judicial costs and save judges' time. She added that it is also designed to keep both partners and their children safe.
"If there's any domestic violence involved, they will make sure that the party is as comfortable as possible," she said. "It's their choice whether they participate at all and mediation can stop at any time. It's helpful for Montanans, and I think it gives them a lot more choices moving forward."
The family mediation program also offers self-help resources and other services. Applications are online at mtlsa.org.
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