Knowing how to approach the grief of others can be difficult, although things can get more complicated when addressing the grief of students in school settings.

Estimates indicate that nearly 7% of children in the U.S. will experience the death of a sibling or parent by the age of 18. Overcoming the cultural taboo around dealing with grief is especially important for teachers and other education personnel.

Gilly Cannon, director of the Children's Bereavement Services at Caring Matters in Gaithersburg, said it's important for educators and families to work together to support a grieving child at school.

"If schools were going to do three things," said Cannon, "they need to show that they care about the students, I want them to show that they can listen deeply without judging, and I'd want them to let the student know that school is a safe place for them to be present in, with their grief."

She said listening without judging involves being able to really hear the other person without needing to share your own experience, or making a judgment about the validity of the other person's feelings.

During these conversations people have to deal with their own impulse to want to fix things for the other person, or put a positive spin on the situation. Cannon recommended against both, and said people should begin by acknowledging what's happened.

"Let them know that you've heard that their person has died, and that you are very sad about that news," said Cannon. "So you're showing them that you are acknowledging it, you're aware of it, what you don't want to then do is to try and make them feel better."

Cannon said she believes that educators need to maintain the institutional awareness of the child's experience of loss, and ensure it travels with them during their school years.

"When a child is grieving," said Cannon, "you need to ensure that as they move from class to class and grade to grade and school to school, that you're passing on that information that this child has had a significant loss, because children revisit their grief as they grow. Their grief morphs and changes as they get older and they have milestones without that person."

Cannon also recommended that people avoid well intentioned clichés such as the idea of the deceased person "being in a better place" or that they wouldn't want to see them cry.

She says these kinds of clichés imply that a grieving person should feel better and hold back their tears, but the message communicated to the grieving person is that their feelings are not valid.

"You don't want to diminish any of their feelings," said Cannon. "You want them to be able to say how they're feeling. And also to know that there's no good or bad feelings, there's feelings. There's no judgment on how they're feeling."

The high cost of child care in Washington can strain family budgets. It can be even harder when families are experiencing homelessness.

A statewide call center is helping people find care and a way to afford it. BrightSpark Early Learning Services operates the Child Care Aware of Washington Family Center, which fields calls from families.

The center also has homeless navigation services. Erika Washington, department manager of family access with BrightSpark, said staff ensure they understand each families' needs.

"Does your little one have any special needs? And we're really able to pinpoint programs that meet each families unique needs," said Washington. "This offers families some stability and just knowing that we're on their side, we have their back and we're also understanding of some of the challenges that they may face."

Washington said the call center is able to connect families with state child care subsidies like Working Connections, or through the homelessness grace period.

The center also provides follow-up services after 30, 60, and 120 days.

Washington talked about one family BrightSpark was able to help that moved to Washington and ended up needing housing. The family had one school-age child and two kids under the age of five.

Washington said they connected the family with a child care program that understood how to support families experiencing homelessness.

"So when transportation became an issue, or when hours of operation became an issue," said Washington, "this child care provider was able to really support this family's needs and really become more of like a family or support system for that parent."

Washington said the center wants to uplift families' voices and let them know how they can take action. She said they support enough families experiencing homelessness to understand their needs.

"A lot of times those families who are experiencing homelessness are working the evening hours or weekend hours," said Washington, "and that's a big challenge across our state, of being able to find child care programs that is available during those hours. And so, it's something that we hear time and time again, and we often are providing support but that need continues to be there."

Utah parents can expect to pay between $800 and $1,200 dollars a month for child care but a new program is expanding its reach into Summit County to help with affordability.

The nationwide child care network Upwards will offer need-based child care scholarships of up to $1,700 for preschoolers. The group is partnering with Summit County and Park City Municipal.

Starr Mastrodonato, program manager for Upwards, said to qualify, at least one parent must reside or work in Summit County, and the total family income cannot exceed 100% of the county's area median income. She pointed out removing barriers to child care also means parents can stay in the workforce.

"It really allowed them to make life decisions on, 'We both can continue to work and to contribute to our family,'" Mastrodonato explained. "And that obviously is just monumental in just overall well-being, not only for their household, their children. And it continues to help the economic workforce."

While cost is one factor, availability is another. Research shows no one county in Utah has the sufficient number of licensed care providers to meet demand. Summit County has the highest percentage of child care needs being met at 54%, according to Voices for Utah Children. Statewide, the number drops to 36%.

Mastrodonato explained expanding assistance to Summit County comes after their Park City pilot program was able to assist 34 working families and helped support 17 child care providers. For every child enrolled at a provider location, the provider receives an additional $300 per month. She added Upwards is excited to build on the program's success.

"We're hoping they take this model, to see how successful it has been," Mastrodonato noted. "And within six months, be able to identify that we can expand to reach more families."

Summit County scholarships and child care provider incentives became available earlier this month. They will be available on a first-come, first-served basis each month.


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More employers are offering benefits to adoptive parents, according to a new survey by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. The amount of paid leave offered to foster parents is now nearly 10 weeks, up 3% from last year.

Jeremy Madden, a resident of Liberty Township, Ohio, and his wife relied on workplace adoption benefits through his employer, Fifth Third Bank, to adopt their baby daughter. He said the process was easy and the financial reimbursement was a game changer, as adoption can cost thousands of dollars. Now, they've settled into life as a family.

"She's fantastic, we wouldn't change anything," he said. "She's brought so much joy and happiness into our life. She's developing her own personality. She is super smart."

Companies that offer new adoption benefits include Harley-Davidson Motor Co. Inc. and Ziff Davis Inc. Highly ranked companies include Ferring Pharmaceuticals and Liberty Media Corp., American Express and MongoDB Inc. Ferring Pharmaceuticals topped the list for providing unlimited financial reimbursement for adoption costs and 26 weeks of paid leave to adoptive parents.

Rita Soronen, the foundation's CEO, cited a 10% increase on average in financial reimbursement for adoption.

"It tells the employees that we're a family-friendly organization, that there's equity if we're offering benefits for families that are formed through birth, we also want to give benefits to families that are formed through adoption," she said, "and it creates a sense of loyalty and retention and goodwill."

She said it's important for employers to consider foster and adoption benefits, not only for its employees, but the good of the community.

"It says to the community that we understand that there are lots of ways that our families are formed," she said, "and we can provide the kind of supports that a family might need to move to that next phase of being a unified and thriving family."

According to the National Council for Adoption, 2022 saw the fewest number of adoptions from foster care since 2015, around 53,000 children nationwide.


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