By Gabes Torres for Yes! Media. Broadcast version by Kathryn Carley for Maine News Service, reporting for the YES! Media-Public News Service Collaboration

Conversations around body positivity and body acceptance have grown over the past few years. In a way, this is progress. We are bolder in exposing and undoing fat-phobia, ableism, and other systems of body oppression that overtly and covertly exist in media, institutions, and our behaviors. There are more advertisements, clothing lines, and mainstream and social media platforms that attempt to promote body diversity.

This is long overdue, as systemic discrimination against weight, age, and different kinds of bodies in general have not only severed our own relationships with our bodies, but also have infiltrated our health care systems, pathologizing and excluding bodies that are not thin, abled, young, and White, resulting in poor quality of care. Body oppression disproportionately alienates us, specifically the bodies that do not fit the so-called standard of beauty, wholeness, and health. Capitalism and White supremacy have given us many reasons to hate our bodies, because they teach us to be ashamed of them-and to shame others.

In an article titled "Body Shame and Transformation," Sonya Renee Taylor describes the spiraling experience of body shame: "We berated and abused ourselves because we were berated and abused by others. We thought the outside voice was our own, and we let it run roughshod over our lives. And then we judged ourselves for judging ourselves, trapped on a hamster wheel of self-flagellation. Oh, honey, that is no way to live."

Shame is a social emotion and experience. It is always linked to our relationships and people's perceptions-or, rather, our perceptions of people's perceptions. Shame makes us question whether or not we truly belong as we are. Shame makes us nervously wonder about the things that make us "bad" or "wrong." In the case of body image, shame provokes us to want to hide. We hide our curves, our fat, and our softness. We hide the marks and scars that prove we made it out alive. We hide by altering the areas of our skin where our hairs grow and darker pigments reside. Shame makes us want to put a mask on.

Recent trends on social media and society at large have widely suggested that to overcome body image issues, we must be more audacious and loud about our love of our bodies. For many of us, it does help. There was a time when it was beneficial for me to publicly share my growing love for my body. I wrote and performed songs about it. I posted and tweeted selfies and images where I felt good about how I looked. It felt meaningful to resist and undermine the prevalence of Western beauty standards that made me hate my Brown, curvy body. However, the process did not help me address an inner conflict. I know I should love my body as it is, but there are days when it seems more like an abstraction-an idea that my body itself finds hard to take in. So to post about how beautiful I think my body is online sometimes feels artificial, like I'm convincing myself to believe in something that is not authentic. I feel ashamed for not having the consistency to believe the message of body positivity. I feel ashamed for having this shame. And there it goes again: the cycle of shame.

When this happens, we tend to look for ways to get rid of the body shame. Sometimes, this means seeking out what we are all socialized to do in order to solve (or hide) something: to consume. Do I need to find more body positive material and products? Do I need to hire a coach who addresses self-image? Do I need to buy more clothes and accessories that make me feel free and beautiful? The cycle of body shame continues in the allures of consumerism. Bhavika Malik shares similar observations on Polyesterzine: "The absolute and unrealistic pressure on people to love themselves transformed the body positivity movement into a toxic, profit-driven business opportunity."

In her book Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion, Jia Tolentino writes, "Mainstream feminism has also driven the movement toward what's called 'body acceptance,' which is the practice of valuing women's beauty at every size and in every iteration, as well as to diversify the beauty ideal." Tolentino explains how the diversification of what it means to be beautiful and acceptable is great, but the complexity lies in the fact that "Beauty is still of paramount importance." My interpretation of this is that for as long as beauty bears utmost importance, there will always be those who dictate the standard of beauty, and those who strive to meet these standards for the purpose of social approval. But perhaps, more specifically, meeting these standards is to remove the shame that interferes with our sense of belonging. It probably isn't body positivity that the system capitalizes on per se. It capitalizes on the shame we feel any time we do not feel like we fit in or are worthy of belonging.

In her aforementioned article, Sonya Renee Taylor discusses the interruption of the cycles of shame: the practice of radical self-love and compassion. We disrupt these systemic cycles by identifying the antidote, which is also the antithesis of what the system doles out: "The only way to beat that system is by giving ourselves something the system never will: compassion."

When was the last time you experienced compassion? Similar to shame, compassion is also a social experience. It also does not aim to produce and earn as a capitalist tool. We give and receive compassion in the context of relationships, including our relationships with ourselves. Whenever we hide, we isolate ourselves, which decreases our chances of easing the shame and disrupting its cyclical nature. It's hard to seek compassion, especially when we've been judged and rejected countless times before in our vulnerability. Even then, I'd like to believe that life is not static. Without dismissing our painful experiences, life is expansive enough to have new ones. More often than not, we take this journey of undoing shame step by step-inch by inch, even.

In taking this inch by inch, we remember the value of our bodies that transcend beyond projected and imposed standards of beauty, health, and wholeness. Taking from my earliest work, I'd like to share with you the timeless truth: "Our bodies are naturally designed to root for us. They self-heal, detect danger, connect us with others and the natural world. Our bodies invite us to rest and play in its kind and creative way. And with that, I realized that my body is not just the home I've always wanted, but the home that always wanted me."

Gabes Torres wrote this article for YES! Magazine. Torres is a psychotherapist, organizer and artist. Her work focuses on anti-colonial approaches and practices within the mental-health field. She also focuses on abolitionist organizing on a global scale. You can find most of her work on her official website, gabestorres.com, and social media platforms including Instagram. Follow her on Twitter at @gabestorres.

A new report offers some solutions for at least 119,000 young people in Connecticut who are described as being "disconnected" from work or school.

"Disconnection" means they have either dropped out or are close to dropping out of school. It also applies to young people ages 18-26 who are unemployed or unemployable.

Kate Dias, president of the Connecticut Education Association, said the state making college a priority beyond high school may be a worthy goal but it has also contributed to the disconnection issue.

"We've heavily invested in college as a solid vehicle for post-high-school endeavors," Dias observed. "I think one of the spaces that we need to continue to evolve is the idea that there's a lot of opportunities post-high school."

She added building up opportunities for students to see other pathways will help, including apprenticeships and alternatives to college. The overall goal of the "Young People First" plan is to get 60,000 at-risk and disconnected youth, ages 14-26, back on track by 2035.

The report, from the Connecticut Conference of Municipalities, said having so many disconnected young residents costs the state about $750 million annually. It estimated implementing the entire plan would cost between $600 million and $700 million, combining some new spending with leveraging existing resources. Dias acknowledged doing big things requires big "asks."

"We're going to need to look at our state-level leaders and ask them to make an investment," Dias explained. "Connecticut has resources. There are monies on the table, and we have to remember government exists for the sole purpose of supporting community, and this would be a fundamental opportunity to do that."

Dias pointed out teachers would play a big part in the plan, since they can shape curriculum and how students are prepared for life after high school. Along with building networks with different professionals, she argued it is important for young people to see there are different versions of success.

"Part of our responsibility as educators is to ensure we understand the world we're bringing these students into," Dias asserted. "If we need to learn more, that we do so. And I think, by and large, educators tend to embrace; I mean, we are learners at heart, so we tend to embrace the opportunities to learn more and do more with our students."


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Today is National Daughters Day and for one Utah teenager, the title only seemed like a dream until recently.

Lilyauna Coffey, 19, lives in Salt Lake City. She spent nine years in the foster care system looking for her forever home and family. It was just last year her dream became reality.

Jessica Coffey said she and her husband Sam temporarily took Lilyauna in as she was waiting for an initial adoptive family to be ready. But after not having "clicked" with the family, Jessica said Lilyauna wanted to stay with them.

"When her adoption worker, that does work with the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, called us and was like, 'Hey, you know, Lilyauna was wondering if you guys would adopt her?' We already were ready to say yes," Coffey recounted. "What was supposed to be like two weeks max, just turned into forever and it's been great."

Coffey stressed it is important for families looking to adopt to realize there are many teenagers looking for permanent homes. She noted being a teen is hard already and for those who lack the support, consistency and love of a family, entering adulthood can be overwhelming.

The latest state data show there are about 2,000 children in Utah's foster care system, with fewer than 600 adopted per year.

Rita Soronen, president and CEO of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, said when a judge permanently severs a child's relationship to their biological family, whether it be due to neglect or abuse, children are promised permanency. But about 20,000 children nationwide turn 18 each year and leave foster care without a family.

Soronen argued more must be done.

"That's why Wendy's Wonderful Kids programs -- for example, in Utah and across the nation -- are so critical to move those children to permanency," Soronen explained. "To minimize the trauma they've already experienced, and to move them toward a journey of healing with a family that can provide them the support and the care."

Soronen added what everyone strives for at the end of the day is a home, which she contended is evident in art and literature throughout American history.

"T.S. Eliot said, 'Home is where we start from,'" Soronen said. "Think of Judy Garland in the movie, right? 'There's no place like home, there's no place like home.' It is at the essence of who we are."

About 53% of high school students think voting is important, according to a survey out today from the nonprofit Youth Truth.

Researchers polled 115,000 American high school students, including Californians, on civic engagement and found 60% believe "helping others is important," but only 44% feel confident in their ability to make a difference.

Jennifer de Forest, interim vice president of Youth Truth, said 30% of students translate their intentions into meaningful action.

"They say, 'We don't know where to start,'" de Forest explained. "And that's the best-case scenario, because for many students, they've actually internalized the message that the system is broken, and that what they have to say doesn't matter."

Latino students report feeling the most disempowered. Only 26% have taken civic action and just 46% believe voting is important. Many students said they are more focused on academic success and college acceptance. But they say extracurriculars like scouting, band and sports do make them feel more civic-minded.

Kate Snow, coordinator of school climate for the Davis Joint Unified School District, which brought diverse student groups together for a youth empowerment workshop, said districts need to build young people's confidence in the importance of their voices.

"There's a link between how schools are engaging students and helping students see their own power and use their power, with how they see and use it in the public arena," Snow pointed out.

The report encouraged schools to promote the importance of voting and students getting involved in their community.