Knowing how to hold space for the grief of children can be complex, but learning how to do it is vital for their well-being.
A death in the family is always traumatic, but deaths due to overdose bring their own unique pain and are on the rise. The National Institutes of Health reports U.S. overdose deaths reached a record of more than 106,000 in 2021, a near 20% increase from the year prior.
With those statistics in mind, the nonprofit National Alliance for Children's Grief will be focusing on the aftermath of overdose deaths as it holds its national conference and webcast in Baltimore March 21.
Vicki Jay, CEO of the alliance, said grief stays with people as they age, and we owe it to kids to address their grief head on.
"The cost of inaction affects the health of our kids, the emotional health, their academic performance, their relationships, all of the above," Jay explained. "It's so much easier in my opinion, to address grief when it affects a child rather than waiting 'til they are a broken adult and try to fix that."
Estimates indicate one in 12 children in Maryland will experience the death of a sibling or parent by age 18.
Family members and children of those who die as a result of a substance-use disorder have often experienced a complex and unreliable relationship with the person. Jay explained the inconsistency can affect the sense of trust in a child.
"If you live in an environment where people are not themselves much of the time, who do you trust and who do you turn to and what is real and what is not real?" Jay emphasized. "Those kinds of things are scary for kids."
When children carry grief with them, it can change through time as they experience life's milestones without their person. At times grief may take the form of acting out, and Jay added adults need to be mindful of a child's experience of loss.
"When a child misbehaves at school, we assume that was his goal that day," Jay pointed out. "'I got up and decided I wanted to draw my teacher crazy,' without looking beyond that and say, 'Why is this child struggling in the classroom?' And many times it goes back to loss and changes in his own personal life."
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Tasks like packing a suitcase for summer travel may be difficult for some Illinois children.
Experts said parents and caregivers can help kids over the summer with the skills known as "executive functions." Adults can be alert to a child's difficulties with their ability to adjust thinking and stay on task, as well as impulse control.
Katie Gleason, director of children's mental health consultation for the YWCA of Metropolitan Chicago, said plenty can be done during the summer months to help prepare children for the next school year, not necessarily with assigning homework.
"It's play-based, it's relationships, it's routines," Gleason outlined. "Another thing is making sure we're breaking down big tasks into smaller steps; working on a puzzle, you can help them identify the steps."
Gleason noted rapid growth in executive function skills for children takes place from ages 3 to 5, and then again in adolescence and early adulthood. Gleason said the YMCA is one place to learn more about executive function and what adults can do to encourage these skills.
"An air traffic control system at a busy airport" is how Harvard's Center on the Developing Child refers to executive function skills, and it said they are critical to healthy development.
Gleason agreed, and cautioned parents and caregivers not to blame a child for poor behavior when it may be connected to what is developmentally appropriate.
"If we shift our way of thinking and saying, 'Oh, this child can't do this,'" Gleason urged. "Instead, we need to be thinking as adults, and as education and care systems, 'What are we doing to help the child develop?'"
Reflection Sciences offers a play-based screening tool to assess levels of executive function skills in children. The results can help parents and teachers follow up with strategies tailored to their child's developmental level.
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The last day of school for Texas kids is typically one of elation, but for children in rural areas with high poverty rates, it also can mean isolation, hunger and falling behind academically. The global nonprofit, Save the Children encourages parents to learn more about programs offered through its "Make Summer Fair" initiative.
Claudia Vargas, Texas director for Save the Children, said the 90-day break from the school routine can be hardest on kids who need the most help.
"Summer can mean no more access to books, regular meals, art supplies - and end of exercising and playing with other friends until the next school year comes," she said.
Families can learn more about programs offered in their area to help kids through SavetheChildren.org/MakeSummerFair.
Shane Garver, senior director of national field operations for U.S. Programs and Advocacy, said excitement about the school year's end can produce anxiety for children who live outside of cities.
"We know at Save the Children that while poverty affects millions of children across the U.S. - it's strongest grip is on the lives of children in rural communities, as rural child poverty is higher than urban areas in 40 states," Garver explained.
Vargas added in a state as large as Texas, there is a dramatic variability in "Summer Learning Loss" or SLL, but it is has been shown that kids can lose up to 34% of what they learned during the prior school year.
"Children in low-income families are affected by the summer slide. When you lose learning during the summer in ways that can affect them years into their education and in rural communities, the impact can be higher," Vargas said.
Vargas cites one study that showed 75% of students with a failing grade point average were food insecure, compared with 42% of students with a GPA equivalent to an "A".
Disclosure: Save the Children contributes to our fund for reporting on Children's Issues, Early Childhood Education, Education, Poverty Issues. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
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Meta, the parent company of Facebook and Instagram, is brushing off calls to investigate the effect its social media platforms have on children's mental health.
Last week shareholders rejected a proposal to hire an independent law firm to evaluate the effectiveness of Meta's audit and risk oversight committee.
The resolution alleges the company regularly breaks pledges to remove content harmful to children.
American Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten spoke out in favor of the resolution.
"In classrooms and communities across the country," said Weingarten, "AFT members are witnessing firsthand the impact of students suffering from anxiety, bullying, trauma, body dysmorphia and the eating disorders - as a direct result of exposure to images on Instagram, as well as the violence glorified on Meta's platforms."
Meta's proxy statement advised a "no" vote, saying the company already prohibits harmful content and provides parents tools to monitor their children's activity online.
Last week the U.S. Surgeon General issued a 19 page advisory on adolescent social media use, saying it is predictive of a decrease in life satisfaction for girls 11 to 13 years old and boys 14 to 15.
Weingarten is a member of the AFL-CIO Executive Council. The labor organization's pension fund holds significant shares in the company, and it introduced the resolution at last week's Meta shareholder's meeting.
She said we need more clarity on what Meta is doing to protect children.
"While Meta's audit and risk oversight committee is charged with evaluating risks," said Weingarten, "shareholders have no idea how the committee operates, what information it considers or whether it just cedes its authority entirely to CEO Mark Zuckerberg."
The White House recently called for changes, alleging that Meta uses "manipulative design techniques embedded in their products to promote addictive and compulsive use by young people to generate more revenue."
The Federal Trade Commission is calling for a ban on collecting young children's data.
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