Many parents complete their families through adoption, and November has been the month to encourage awareness, recognize those still waiting to be adopted and celebrate those who have grown through the process.
About 20 families finalized their adoptions at St. Louis County Family Court this year in Missouri, while more than 75,000 in 400 communities did so nationally.
Julia Hampton, a Missouri Walmart employee and adoptive parent, said it is important to look at the benefits offered by businesses when growing your family through adoption.
"Look into the programs available through the company you're employed with, because it may be they have a program set up to reimburse you for legal fees for the adoption," Hampton recommended. "Then you still get a bonding time, to just spend some one-on-one time with them."
Walmart ranks 46th on the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption's annual ranking of the Top 100 Adoption-Friendly Workplaces. It's also in second place for the "Best Impact Breakout," among companies with more than 1,000 employees providing the most financial reimbursement for adoption to the largest number of workers.
Alyssa Harp and husband Jason Harp finalized a rare adoption of older teens at a Michigan Adoption Day ceremony this year. Alyssa said growing her family with the two teen brothers has been rewarding and fulfilling.
"Their hearts are good. They want a family. They bring so much to our lives. They're such good siblings," Alyssa explained. "We're just really excited to be able to help them have a safe place to become amazing adults."
Rebekka Krul, adoption specialist for Legacy Adoption Services, said National Adoption Month is a time for awareness of the many children in foster care waiting for their forever families, which should not end when the month is over.
"You don't have to be rich or married, or you don't even have to have a house," Krul pointed out. "As long as you have a safe space and you have love in your heart for kids, we'll welcome you."
Nationally, more than 113,000 children are waiting to be adopted from foster care. They include more than 12,600 in Missouri.
get more stories like this via email
At Thanksgiving, millions of Americans will see relatives who may be on the other side of the political divide for the first time since the election and experts have some tips for approaching the conversation.
Emma Nadler is a therapist, speaker and author of the book "The Unlikely Village of Eden." She suggested people consider what their overall goal is for the evening -- and the relationships -- and respond accordingly.
"When you feel yourself getting angry, frustrated, take a few seconds to consider, 'How do I honor my purpose here? What do I want to say next that brings me back to why I'm here at this holiday?'" Nadler recommended.
The group Braver Angels promotes civil political discussions. It suggested people focus on finding out where the other person is coming from, without putting him or her on the defensive, and try to find common ground before stating an opposing viewpoint.
Nadler added if the conversation takes a wrong turn, it is best to take a long pause, maybe pitch in with the dishes or take a walk rather than let things get nasty.
"Anyone can say and do things they regret," Nadler stressed. "It takes about at least 20 minutes of non-activating conversation to get back to your baseline regulation. So it's not two minutes."
Some families may choose to send out an email ahead of time to set the tone for the holiday, in hopes the Thanksgiving gathering will be about enjoying the time together, where people include and respect each other regardless of political viewpoints.
get more stories like this via email
November is National Adoption Month and one Oregon nonprofit is making space for Black and Indigenous adoptees to share their stories.
Although most adoptees are well-adjusted, research indicates people who have been adopted are more likely to have mental health struggles and are four times more likely to attempt suicide.
Liana Soifer, cofounder and executive director of the group BIPOC Adoptee Voices, said if the dominant story around adoption is too focused on parents and advocacy groups, the struggles and triumphs of adoptees can be overlooked.
"Adoption is based on a transaction: 'You're adopted, you're done, you're good, your life is fine,'" Soifer observed. "And for many of us now adult, into adulthood, we're saying, 'No, it's not fine.'"
Sofier was adopted from South Korea by a white family, and said having limited information about where you come from can lead to feelings of shame and isolation. If you are in crisis or know someone who is, call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
In Oregon, most adoptees are adopted by close family members. On average, 125 children are waiting to be adopted from foster care. The number has declined significantly in the last six years, after the Oregon Department of Human Services changed its policies to minimize child separation.
Soifer emphasized every adoption story is unique and said the public needs to learn about the struggles adoptees experience, along with their successes.
"Changing the way that we frame things, not good or bad, but just like, 'Here's the reality. The most important thing we can do is just educating how those adoptees, how the birth families are impacted,'" Soifer explained.
Soifer added getting to know other BIPOC adoptees has been important for building her own sense of belonging. BIPOC Adoptee Voices hosts regular, free mixers and storytelling events.
get more stories like this via email
New data show many Connecticut residents can't afford daily life. This year's ALICE update shows the number of asset-limited, income-constrained employed families grew 13% in 2022. This is the largest increase in a decade.
The report says a family with two adults and two children in the state need an income of $114,000 per year just to afford the basics - not including emergency expenses.
Daniel Fitzmaurice, director of advocacy for the United Way of Connecticut, said some of what people do to make ends meet falls outside the data's scope.
"It's a little hard sometimes to quantify, for example, the compromises families make to maybe put their child in only a couple days a week of childcare rather than full-time childcare, or live with many people in their household rather than have the type of housing they want," he explained.
Three priority affordability issues for Connecticut residents are childcare, housing and food. Fitzmaurice and other advocates feel implementing a state child tax credit can be the best way to help ailing families. The state's proposed credit would provide an additional $600 for a family's biggest expenses.
One challenge for families to receive the child tax credit is ensuring they file their income taxes. Fitzmaurice noted those eligible people might not know about it or other programs. Another issue could be they either earn too much or too little to qualify for some state programs. He offered Connecticut's childcare subsidy as one example.
"Families at that income bracket actually work outside of the traditional economy; say hair braiding or driving an Uber or delivery services," he continued. "And so, they struggle to qualify for the childcare subsidy that would enable them to work, because they don't have enough documented work."
Beyond the benefits cliff, there is a mismatch between everyday costs and the jobs of ALICE families. Half of the most common jobs in the state in 2022 all paid under $20 an hour. But Fitzmaurice said most of these jobs - like cashiers, truck drivers, and personal care aides - are essential to the economy.
"These most common jobs are also some of our most essential jobs, but they have just traditionally had very low wages for what it costs to live," he said.
Disclosure: United Way of Connecticut contributes to our fund for reporting on Budget Policy & Priorities, Children's Issues, Housing/Homelessness, Social Justice. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
click here.
get more stories like this via email