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Arson attacks paralyze French high-speed rail network hours before start of Olympics, the Obamas endorse Harris for President; A NY county creates facial recognition, privacy protections; Art breathes new life into pollution-ravaged MI community; 34 Years of the ADA.

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Harris meets with Israeli PM Netanyahu and calls for a ceasefire. MI Rep. Rashida Tlaib faces backlash for a protest during Netanyahu's speech. And VA Sen. Mark Warner advocates for student debt relief.

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There's a gap between how rural and urban folks feel about the economy, Colorado's 'Rural is Rad' aims to connect outdoor businesses, more than a dozen of Maine's infrastructure sites face repeated flooding, and chocolate chip cookies rock August.

How to handle challenging conversations this holiday season

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Wednesday, December 13, 2023   

In today's politically polarized world, holiday office parties and family gatherings can lead to increased tensions, arguments and even long-term damage to important relationships.

Christine Miles, author of the book "What is it Costing You Not to Listen," which offers tips on how to navigate difficult conversations, said instead of trying to challenge someone you disagree with, ask them questions -- like a journalist would -- to learn the story behind their position.

"Let that person talk more, sit back and listen to understand, seek the perspective they're coming from, and then the de-escalation begins," Miles explained. "That's not about agreement, that's just about 'where are you coming from?'"

Psychologists have warned holding back your feelings when someone makes an off-color comment can actually cause harm. Not speaking up can lead to depression and health problems, including immune dysfunction, hypertension and even cancer.

Miles added asking questions is one way to make your voice heard, lower tensions and decrease defensiveness. It is tempting to focus on trying to change someone's mind, which Miles noted is where arguments begin. Listening can be the best way to stop a fight before it starts.

"Because if someone wants to engage you in a point of view that you don't have, they might just be looking for the argument," Miles stressed. "If you take the bait, be careful, because that's where the damage can come in."

Miles emphasized listening to people who have different opinions by using your natural curiosity, can strengthen social bonds, and educate younger family members about the value of healthy debate. It is also a lot less effective -- for example, when trying to solve an important problem -- if you only engage with people who hold the same perspective or worldview.

"It doesn't bring out innovation, and it really misses a lot of important points," Miles cautioned. "Civic engagement is huge, but we have to manage our differences by seeking to understand, rather than seeking to change minds."


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