This coming Saturday is National Adoption Day, but kids who are older or have special needs face more difficulty in finding adoptive parents.

More than 113,000 children in foster care are eligible for adoption, according to the Department of Health and Human Services - about 4,000 of them are in Maryland.

And more than half entered the foster care system because of neglect.

Saara McEachnie, director of domestic adoption programs at the Barker Adoption Foundation, runs the "Project Wait No Longer" program - focused on finding adoptive homes for older children, groups of siblings and those with other special needs.

She said teens are the most vulnerable.

"Families that are seeking to adopt are most often feeling most comfortable, and most equipped or prepared, to be able to adopt a younger child," said McEachnie. "So, that leaves fewer options for our older kiddos that are very much in need of family, and we have few families that are stepping forward."

McEachnie explained that children sometimes struggle with attachment or bonding after being removed from their birth family and placed with strangers.

She said it's important to educate people who want to become adoptive parents, to better prepare them to adopt older kids.

McEachnie said potential adoptive families can learn to make their homes what she calls "more attachment friendly."

That includes understanding the attachment difficulties that may come from a child's complex trauma.

She said it helps to create networks of fellow adoptive families in order to build a like-minded community for the child.

"Building an attachment-friendly home first has to come from a place of understanding, empathy, flexibility," said McEachnie, "willingness to seek and access resources, willingness to continue to understand the population."

National Adoption Day was first launched in 1999 by a coalition of national groups, including the Children's Action Network and Alliance for Children's Rights.




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New Mexico child welfare groups are behind an initiative they plan to introduce in the next legislative session to create a so-called baby bonds program.

The Partnership for Community Action and other child advocacy groups introduced a pilot program earlier this fall.

Executive Director Nichelle Gilbert said 15 children received trust accounts of $6,000 - available to the child when they turn 18.

"These funds that are invested grow over time," said Gilbert, "and are available to invest in things like education, starting a business, owning a home, or to pursue other opportunities that foster upward mobility."

Proposals for baby bond programs have passed in California, Connecticut, and Washington, DC - and have been introduced at the federal level and in eight additional states.

The New Mexico State Treasurer, who supports baby bonds, recently held a symposium to discuss and develop a bill to be introduced in the 2025 legislative session, that would create a statewide program.

New Mexico has a high rate of poverty and one of the widest income gaps.

Gilbert said if lawmakers approve the concept, eligible children would receive a publicly funded trust account at birth - providing them with a startup fund to pursue a prosperous and directed adult life.

She said she believes the program could help dismantle inequities and reduce barriers to wealth.

"It's encouraging local investment, it's promoting asset building, it's facilitating education and careers," said Gilbert, "and all the while breaking cycles of poverty."

Roughly 28% of New Mexico's children younger than age five and a quarter of those younger than 18 live in poverty - while the national poverty rate is about 11%.

Child advocates unsuccessfully pitched legislation to require a financial literacy course - in high school - but lawmakers made it an elective instead.




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Advocates for foster children in Massachusetts are encouraging people to open their homes and hearts to adoption.

More than 8,000 children in the Commonwealth are currently living in foster care and seeking permanent, loving families.

Rita Soronen, president of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, said too often people believe the myth children are placed in foster care for bad behavior.

"It's important to know that there are reasons why that child is in care but there are reasons that are no fault of theirs," Soronen explained. "It's a family that has not done well by them."

Soronen pointed out foster care adoption in Massachusetts is free. Most application and legal costs are covered by the state. She noted many agencies have also improved the administrative process to ensure foster kids and their new families can get connected more quickly.

Research shows youths who age out of foster care without a family are at an increased risk of facing negative outcomes such as homelessness, unemployment or reentering into government systems.

Marisol Santana of Shrewsbury was adopted last year at age 19 after spending roughly 15 years in the foster care system. She said her new life is like a dream come true.

"I got to graduate from a better school. I got to do prom," Santana recounted. "I have love now that I'm surrounded by, and it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world."

Marisol is also now a big sister to three younger siblings and her mom said she has embraced the role.

Members of the Santana family are sharing their experience with the hope it will encourage other families considering foster care adoption to take the leap. They advised people to reach out to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, which can help answer any questions and direct them to local organizations to help begin the adoption process.

If the election season made one thing clear, it is neither side can hear what the other is saying and one expert believes it is because most of us were not taught "active listening" in school.

Christine Miles, founder of The Listening Path Classroom program, said only about 2% of schools offer formal listening skill development programs, which can handicap our success as adults. Miles believes too many of us listen half-heartedly, keen to share our thoughts or arguments the minute the other person stops talking.

"This is not new," Miles pointed out. "Since 1957, there's been talk about the fact that there's not formal education in schools on listening, and the reason I think it hasn't been solved is because listening has been notoriously hard."

Research shows students from kindergarten through 12th grade spend 50% to 75% of their classroom time listening, yet comprehend only 25% to 50% of what they hear. According to Miles, when it comes to politics, it is rarely effective to argue someone into adopting your position.

Miles believes technology is partly to blame for poor listening. Kids spend so many hours on their electronic devices, Miles explained some develop a natural form of attention deficit disorder, even if they don't have the condition biochemically.

"What the technology has done is made our brains even more impatient and more distracted than they already were," Miles contended. "If we don't help them learn how to have conversations about things they disagree about, how will they learn how to manage that?"

Miles noted becoming an adult without good listening skills can affect both academic success and social-emotional learning. To develop better skills, experts recommended being fully present in a conversation, showing interest by practicing good eye contact, asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing and reflecting back what has been said and withholding judgment and advice.


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