Knowing how to approach the grief of others can be difficult, although things can get more complicated when addressing the grief of students in school settings.
Estimates indicate that nearly 7% of children in the U.S. will experience the death of a sibling or parent by the age of 18. Overcoming the cultural taboo around dealing with grief is especially important for teachers and other education personnel.
Gilly Cannon, director of the Children's Bereavement Services at Caring Matters in Gaithersburg, said it's important for educators and families to work together to support a grieving child at school.
"If schools were going to do three things," said Cannon, "they need to show that they care about the students, I want them to show that they can listen deeply without judging, and I'd want them to let the student know that school is a safe place for them to be present in, with their grief."
She said listening without judging involves being able to really hear the other person without needing to share your own experience, or making a judgment about the validity of the other person's feelings.
During these conversations people have to deal with their own impulse to want to fix things for the other person, or put a positive spin on the situation. Cannon recommended against both, and said people should begin by acknowledging what's happened.
"Let them know that you've heard that their person has died, and that you are very sad about that news," said Cannon. "So you're showing them that you are acknowledging it, you're aware of it, what you don't want to then do is to try and make them feel better."
Cannon said she believes that educators need to maintain the institutional awareness of the child's experience of loss, and ensure it travels with them during their school years.
"When a child is grieving," said Cannon, "you need to ensure that as they move from class to class and grade to grade and school to school, that you're passing on that information that this child has had a significant loss, because children revisit their grief as they grow. Their grief morphs and changes as they get older and they have milestones without that person."
Cannon also recommended that people avoid well intentioned clichés such as the idea of the deceased person "being in a better place" or that they wouldn't want to see them cry.
She says these kinds of clichés imply that a grieving person should feel better and hold back their tears, but the message communicated to the grieving person is that their feelings are not valid.
"You don't want to diminish any of their feelings," said Cannon. "You want them to be able to say how they're feeling. And also to know that there's no good or bad feelings, there's feelings. There's no judgment on how they're feeling."
get more stories like this via email
New findings suggest health effects stemming from child maltreatment can be passed on to the next generation.
In South Dakota, leaders in early-childhood support said there are ways to limit the impact of traumatic events within a family's history.
The research was led by the Environmental influences on Child Health Outcomes Program and the National Institutes of Health. It said children of mothers exposed to childhood maltreatment had higher rates of asthma, ADHD and autism.
Darbi Hunt, family lead for South Dakota's Early Childhood Comprehensive System's Collaborative, said guidance and early screening are vital in reversing such outcomes.
"It's important that we look for ways to help understand better practices," Hunt stressed. "Provide them the resources, the knowledge and the skills so that we can try and break that cycle."
The state is expanding its Bright Start visiting program for income-eligible households, where a personal nurse supports mothers during and after birth. And there are parenting classes, too. But Hunt noted awareness and accessibility can be a challenge in a rural state like South Dakota, and she urged agencies to team up to prevent families from falling through the cracks.
Darla Biel, assistant director of the Center for the Prevention of Child Maltreatment, said the findings add to the long history of research showing how a surrounding environment can impact child development. But she emphasized a history of abuse or neglect does not mean a family is permanently broken.
"They may have experienced adversity," Biel acknowledged. "That doesn't mean that they're not able to be supported, and not able to move forward in healthy and safe ways with their children and their families."
Biel added parents navigating adversity should feel no shame in asking for help, noting they are not alone in trying to cope with stress while raising a child.
According to last year's State of Babies data summary, 22% of South Dakota mothers reported less than optimal mental health. Parenting classes are offered through the state's Social Services department.
Disclosure: The Center for the Prevention of Child Maltreatment contributes to our fund for reporting on Children's Issues, Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault, Education, and Health Issues. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
click here.
get more stories like this via email
Youth advocates continue to sound the alarm over the impact flavored tobacco products have on teenagers, and hope Minnesota lawmakers take another close look at a proposed statewide ban.
Following attempts in previous legislative sessions, a bill has surfaced to prohibit the sale of all flavored tobacco products, including menthol cigarettes, flavored cigars, smokeless tobacco and e-cigarettes.
The coalition Minnesotans for a Smoke-Free Generation said the region faces a youth tobacco epidemic.
Bethlehem Yewhalawork, program manager for NorthPoint Health and Wellness Center, said enacting proposed restrictions can prevent things from getting worse.
"Passing a comprehensive flavor policy will really prevent youth addiction and improve health for all Minnesotans," Yewhalawork contended.
According to the coalition, one in seven 11th graders in Minnesota reports using e-cigarettes, and 88% of those students use flavored products.
Proposed bans often encounter pushback from the tobacco industry and retailers. A similar ban in the city of Edina recently survived a court challenge. Currently, 25% of Minnesotans are covered by a local flavored tobacco policy.
Preethika Naveen, a senior at Eagan High School, said while overall smoking rates have declined, use of flavored tobacco is prevalent among her peers.
"Many kids use menthol chew and vape e-cigarettes. Why? Because of the flavors," Naveen observed.
Advocates also argued the tobacco industry continues to use menthol products to target Black Americans, LGBTQ communities and youth. Groups such as the Children's Defense Fund have noted early exposure to nicotine can have lasting effects on a child's brain development.
Disclosure: The Children's Defense Fund-Minnesota Chapter contributes to our fund for reporting on Budget Policy and Priorities, and Children's Issues. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
click here.
get more stories like this via email
Some Indiana elementary students are getting an extra dose of emotional support in the classroom from service dogs.
Trained by the Indiana Canine Assistant Network, the dogs offer a social link to kids who may intentionally isolate themselves.
Jill Schipp, principal at West Clay Elementary School in Carmel, said kids feel an immediate bond with her dog, "Palmer," and want to pet him or read him a story. She explained service dogs are helpful for children who have trouble with fear or uncertainty, or difficulty communicating.
"I've had kids that come down that are experiencing grief or anxiety, or changes in their life, maybe kids that have made a move to a new home, and they're just upset," Schipp observed. "They're carrying big worries. Being with him, and petting him and getting dog kisses, and getting their mind off of it really, really helps."
She pointed out teachers also request visits with the service dogs during trying times, like state scholastic testing. Schipp noted she has received inquiries from other districts about the benefits of having a service dog on school grounds.
Service dogs receive special instruction and certification to address distinct needs. The dog may sense a child with a physical disability is unsteady, and let the child lean on them. Schipp added her dog is keenly aware of nonverbal communication, which is common in children on the autism spectrum.
"If they are upset, I have learned to ask the child what they need," Schipp recounted. "Some kids will say, 'I need him to sit on me.' So, I have a little mat and the child sits down, puts their legs straight out in front of them, and he sits on their lap. And they just talk to him, and he just lays there until they're calm."
Schipp thought the dogs' presence would ease students' transition back to a classroom setting after the pandemic. She began the process with questionnaires to hundreds of parents, and the majority supported the plan. She emphasized care is taken with allergic reactions or fear of dogs.
get more stories like this via email